By Zehrah Yakoob
‘When did you and she become such good friends, I saw you guys’ on the news feed yesterday. Don’t tell her even though she seems all sugar coated, that day she was saying that you are SUCH a show- off’ *forgetting all her oozing loving for the friend the other day* ‘WHAT omg I always knew she spreads rumours about people. I so hate herrr’….. And so starts a series of texts , wall posts, tweets and conversations about a ‘fact’ regarding a certain someone stated by a random person. The unnecessary hatred spreads from groups to groups and eventually to the targeted person himself. As well starts a series of taunts between the people who appear nice to each other but occasionally whenever they can get a change to insult, throw stuff like ‘OH please, get out off my face‘ ‘WHY do you have to be so lame all the time man!’
Two things of importance here: The back-biting and the taunting.
Let’s start by looking at what exactly IS backbiting to avoid statements like ‘I am not backbiting, just stating facts.’ Backbiting is when you say anything about anyone behind their back that if stated in front of them /or if they find out will hurt them. It DOES NOT necessarily have to be false. Even a right fact stated behind a person’s back that will upset him if said in front of him comes under the term backbiting. So let’s spare a moment here and consider: How many times a day do we indulge in this sin? Not exaggerating much, I guess our conversations are built on this alone most of our day. Even when we meet a stranger (eventually we end up having quite many mutuals thanks to Facebook and Twitter), our conversation gradually turns towards ‘but you know there’s one thing I don’t like about him/her.’
Now here’s another problem that comes out of trying to avoid backbiting - people develop a habit to say those dirty things on people’s face. Saying the truth, not backbiting now, nothing’s wrong in that is there.
Now is it?
O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: it may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): nor let some women laugh at others: it may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nick names: ill-seeming is a name connecting wickedness, (to be used of one) after he has believed: and those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong. (Al-Hujurat: 11)
What exactly is wrong in backbiting/taunting/insulting fellow beings?
The Messenger of Allah (saw) was asked,“O Messenger of Allah, so and so spends her nights praying, and her days fasting, she does so and so and gives in charity but there is something in her tongue that maliciously injures her neighbors. He replied, there is no good in her, she will go to Hell.”
The tongue I tell you can do wonders. It can make or destroy a life. The Prophet (saw) once told his Companions the summary of Emaan by grabbing his tongue and saying ‘Have control on this’
The puzzling part is what DO we by talking against others? Does it do us any good or in fact bring more enmity? Have you had some enemies just because you spoke against their best friend? Doesn’t it ever make you feel the least bit bad that you are going around having people turn against you every time you talk bad about a new person, every time you taunt someone/insult them? Are we not concerned at all about the consequences of such acts of ours? Do we even consider for a moment that every word we utter is being stored with Allah like every word of ours in phone calls gets recorded and can be used against us anytime? Well, we don’t. Why? Simple; it’s because we believe we won’t be held accountable for that in this world AND because there’s that someone to constantly remind us not to forget to tell others about a spicy detail we found regarding a friend or to get back at someone today for embarrassing us last year. That someone’s called Shaitan – someone who was supposed to be our worst enemy and has turned into our best friend. Pity, how we can turn down Allah, Prophet, our parents, best friends’ good suggestions (like get annoyed at their asking us to pray) but never turn down our worst enemy’s evil idea because this one comes gift wrapped. He just needs to put a thought in our mind.
Rest, when we make him proud ourselves. Bravo.
If we love telling tales about people then we should always remind ourselves of this:
The worst amongst you are the talebearers, who instigate the friends against each other and who seek hardship for the innocent.” (Bukhari)
When we are competing on tale telling, exaggerating our stories much to sound oh-so-awesome, there’s actually a record being made somewhere on your shoulders by an angel as to how worse in the eyes of your Creator you just got. You come first in making up stories in front your friends, you drop to the lowest in the eyes of the Almighty.
In today’s time when everyone is going through so many hardships, wouldn’t it be great to have our matters dealt by someone who’s capable of attending to those affairs - Who has power over that every being who has ever hurt or harmed you? It is very simple. I do not ask you to read something or to keep everything inside, carrying a heavy heart. Talk all you want, say everything someone has ever done to you BUT my friends, say it not to those who have no power over the ones who hurt you, say it to that ONE who has power over every creation, who has power to turn their hearts and bring them in favour of you simply because you asked. Because you asked Him and not others, because it’s Him you put faith in and not them, because it’s Him only you fear, not them.
Two things of importance here: The back-biting and the taunting.
Let’s start by looking at what exactly IS backbiting to avoid statements like ‘I am not backbiting, just stating facts.’ Backbiting is when you say anything about anyone behind their back that if stated in front of them /or if they find out will hurt them. It DOES NOT necessarily have to be false. Even a right fact stated behind a person’s back that will upset him if said in front of him comes under the term backbiting. So let’s spare a moment here and consider: How many times a day do we indulge in this sin? Not exaggerating much, I guess our conversations are built on this alone most of our day. Even when we meet a stranger (eventually we end up having quite many mutuals thanks to Facebook and Twitter), our conversation gradually turns towards ‘but you know there’s one thing I don’t like about him/her.’
Now here’s another problem that comes out of trying to avoid backbiting - people develop a habit to say those dirty things on people’s face. Saying the truth, not backbiting now, nothing’s wrong in that is there.
Now is it?
O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: it may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): nor let some women laugh at others: it may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nick names: ill-seeming is a name connecting wickedness, (to be used of one) after he has believed: and those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong. (Al-Hujurat: 11)
What exactly is wrong in backbiting/taunting/insulting fellow beings?
The Messenger of Allah (saw) was asked,“O Messenger of Allah, so and so spends her nights praying, and her days fasting, she does so and so and gives in charity but there is something in her tongue that maliciously injures her neighbors. He replied, there is no good in her, she will go to Hell.”
The tongue I tell you can do wonders. It can make or destroy a life. The Prophet (saw) once told his Companions the summary of Emaan by grabbing his tongue and saying ‘Have control on this’
The puzzling part is what DO we by talking against others? Does it do us any good or in fact bring more enmity? Have you had some enemies just because you spoke against their best friend? Doesn’t it ever make you feel the least bit bad that you are going around having people turn against you every time you talk bad about a new person, every time you taunt someone/insult them? Are we not concerned at all about the consequences of such acts of ours? Do we even consider for a moment that every word we utter is being stored with Allah like every word of ours in phone calls gets recorded and can be used against us anytime? Well, we don’t. Why? Simple; it’s because we believe we won’t be held accountable for that in this world AND because there’s that someone to constantly remind us not to forget to tell others about a spicy detail we found regarding a friend or to get back at someone today for embarrassing us last year. That someone’s called Shaitan – someone who was supposed to be our worst enemy and has turned into our best friend. Pity, how we can turn down Allah, Prophet, our parents, best friends’ good suggestions (like get annoyed at their asking us to pray) but never turn down our worst enemy’s evil idea because this one comes gift wrapped. He just needs to put a thought in our mind.
Rest, when we make him proud ourselves. Bravo.
If we love telling tales about people then we should always remind ourselves of this:
The worst amongst you are the talebearers, who instigate the friends against each other and who seek hardship for the innocent.” (Bukhari)
When we are competing on tale telling, exaggerating our stories much to sound oh-so-awesome, there’s actually a record being made somewhere on your shoulders by an angel as to how worse in the eyes of your Creator you just got. You come first in making up stories in front your friends, you drop to the lowest in the eyes of the Almighty.
In today’s time when everyone is going through so many hardships, wouldn’t it be great to have our matters dealt by someone who’s capable of attending to those affairs - Who has power over that every being who has ever hurt or harmed you? It is very simple. I do not ask you to read something or to keep everything inside, carrying a heavy heart. Talk all you want, say everything someone has ever done to you BUT my friends, say it not to those who have no power over the ones who hurt you, say it to that ONE who has power over every creation, who has power to turn their hearts and bring them in favour of you simply because you asked. Because you asked Him and not others, because it’s Him you put faith in and not them, because it’s Him only you fear, not them.
